On his playing days
“I never succeeded in bringing to the field what was going on in my brain. I had the talent for the fifth division, and the mind for the Bundesliga. The result was a career in the second division.”
On losing to Bayern Munich in the Champions League final
“The only thing I can say is that it was great. London is the town of the Olympic Games. The weather was good, everything is OK. Only the result is shit.”
On a poor first-half performance
“I told my players during the break: Since we’re here anyway, we might actually play a bit of football.”
On Arsene Wenger
“He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It’s like an orchestra. But it’s a silent song. I like heavy metal.”
On facing Bayern Munich
“We have a bow and arrow and if we aim well, we can hit the target. The problem is that Bayern has a bazooka.”
On losing Mario Gotze to Guardiola’s Bayern Munich
“He’s leaving because he’s Guardiola’s favourite. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I can’t make myself shorter and learn Spanish.”
On beating Bayern Munich in 2011
“When Dortmund last won here 19 years ago, most of my players were still being breast-fed.”
On signing Henrikh Mkhitaryan
“Mkhitaryan fits us like an arse on a bucket. What he offers is exactly what we need.”
On his hair transplant
“Yes, it’s true. I underwent a hair transplant. I think the results are really cool, don’t you?”
On being compared to ‘The Special One,’ Jose Mourinho
I am ‘The Normal One’. I am a normal guy from the Black Forest. I was a very average player. I don’t compare myself with these genius managers from the past.”